Enough

Lately, I have been overwhelmed with the feeling of not being enough - inadequacy actually. At work, the projects are stacked on my desk. It seems as soon as I start to see the light at the end of the tunnel, two more urgent and time consuming items need my attention. There are friends back in Texas that I have kept in touch with well enough. There are friendships here that I haven't given enough of my time and efforts. And in one recent relationship, I came up short in numerous areas.

Last week, the preacher at my church talked about receiving identity in Christ rather than striving to achieve identify as the world does. I know that I am striving to achieve my identity and hence, my enough problem. But how do you receive identity? Insert Sunday School answer here - "Well Riley through faith of course." Ok yes, but really how? On a day to day, hour by hour, minute by minute basis, what do I do differently?

I have had this question bouncing around my head and heart since Sunday. This morning in my quiet time, I came across this verse. "My grace is enough; it's all you need." 2 Corinthians 12:9 MSG.

There is nothing that I can do but trust in God and His amazing grace and that will be more than enough in any and all areas of my life.

To My Crazy Aunt Kathy On Her 51st Birthday

Today is a great day because 51 years ago on this day, my grandparents received their first bundle of joy - my aunt Kathy. I believe that everyone should experience the joy of having an aunt like Kathy. She is a full of surprises and there is NEVER a dull moment when she is around. There is always a good chance that she will go flying off the handle especially when her cell phone (which is set on the loudest volume option) receives a call from work. Although she loves her "peeps," there is always some sort of drama at the "home" (she works at an assisted living home).

Kathy is a passionate person, something that I have always envied about her. She loves our family especially her boys, Rue, Reece and Drew, but who could blame her; they are pretty spectacular. She loves baseball and often reminds me that there are few things more beautiful than a perfectly executed double play. She loves to read and due to this her daily vocabulary includes words like "impeccable" and "immaculate" just to name a few. She loves Baylor - "Bear Air" is good for the lungs but hard on the heart. She loves politics and will be a true Democrat until the day she dies. She loves animals and her home houses a zoo of "animales." She claims that dogs are life's purest source of joy and one of her life goals is for me to also embrace this truth. She loves old people because they are a great source of wisdom. She loves the 7 AM hour of the day and has passed that love on to me.

I love Kathy. It's a guaranteed good time whenever she is around. She is and always will be an important person in my life. I can't imagine my life without her. I'm not going to lie, our family get togethers would not be near as colorful without her stirring things up and voicing her opinion. I look forward to many more years of "laughing loud, laughing long and laughing often" with her.

So Kathy, Happy Birthday! And remember "earthly bodies" are overrated.

Saturday....

I desperately needed a relaxing Saturday and that is exactly what I got today (please remember that everyone views relaxing differently). I started out the morning with a bootcamp workout across the Brooklyn Bridge. It's a great way to get the day started and the blood moving. Next, I venture to Harlem with NY Cares for some basketball with kids and other volunteers. I love kids and basketball so it was the perfect mixture. After lunch, I met some friends in Central Park for an afternoon of quality conversation and good laughs. The afternoon also provided me the chance to catch up with two of my close friends back in Texas.

This day was just what I needed. It reassured me that even though I don't know what my future holds, that day by day God gives me exactly what I need. Not only that, he fills my life with amazing people and wonderful moments. I am BLESSED.

Surviving Jasper

For the past 2 months, I have shared my tiny Manhattan studio with a crazy German named Jasper. Jasper is a smart, funny, laid back guy who is always up for a good time. He was the foreign exchange student my senior year in high school and somehow, some way I fell for his charm and we dated for about 9 months (go ahead and laugh, Alyssa - I know you want to). Even after we broke up, we remained good friends exchanging emails every week and the occasional visits across the pond. He was interning at the German consulate to the United Nations and hence became my roommate.

Although I was on a roller coaster of emotions while he was here (which I'm not really ready to talk about), there were many great moments. With Jasper, I attended church in Harlem, visited Greenwood Cemetery in Brooklyn, walked the boardwalk and ate fried chicken at Coney Island, had brunch at 4:00 in the afternoon, attend a Broadway play, played basketball in Central Park on a random weeknight (he even ventured to the Bronx, but I was not that brave), attend my first "stummptist" which is basically a German party, met many new and interesting (and predominately foreign) people.....just to name a few. In a way, he helped me explore this wonderful city that I often take for granted.

Reflecting back on his stay, the best way for me to sum it up is that I survived. I survived his constant tardiness (I run 15 minutes ahead of schedule while he runs at least 30 minutes behind), I survived sharing a bathroom, I survived coming home to my flat being a wreck, I survived his loud music, I survived hearing German constantly, I survived our cultural differences (me from the Bible belt and him from post-Cold War Berlin), I survived our personality differences (me completely Type A and him completely Type B), and I even survived our differing views on politics and religion. With all this though, I did grow in many ways - I developed more patience, became more confident in my beliefs, learned that Trader Joe's is manageable, developed a deeper appreciation for my friends and family, and now have a amazing ability to quickly matched men's dress socks which all look the same.

I will miss Jasper, especially his uncanny ability to make me laugh and his laid back perspective on life when I am uptight. But overall, I'm relieved. Today was my first day without him. I had originally taken off work because he thought he was flying out today. In reality his flight was late last night. I have enjoyed this day so much. I slept in, had a great workout at the gym, cleaned my apt, went shopping, spent time at Barnes and Noble, read with a coffee, had a little dance party and took a nap. I'm looking forward to getting my life back in order - calling those many friends that I've neglected for the past 2 months, getting back in the swing of things at church, exploring the city with my NYC buddies, starting to read again, volunteering with Kate and Jennifer......basically just being me.

So I guess this post reflects my feelings right now - a messy mixture. Jasper is gone and I'm okay. And I guess the attitude I'm taking right now is that of my Nandy "Onward Ever!"

Aunt Bubba

Recently my great great aunt passed away. Crazy, I know that I even had a great great aunt and even crazier was the fact that I actually knew her and had a relationship with her. She was blessed with a sharp mind throughout her life. We called her Aunt Bubba and yes, there is a long story behind the name but that's not what this post is about.

My Aunt Bubba was one in a million. She never married but rather was the rock that kept our ever growing family connected. Growing up in Olney, we would always go "down home" to Aunt Bubba's house on Sunday mornings for a cup of the strongest coffee I have ever come across in my life and her views on the world. Forever a devote and strong Democrat, she would enlighten us on the faults of Republican party and especially the Bush Administration.

But when I reflect on Aunt Bubba's life, one theme continues to rise above the rest - LOVE. She loved each and every one of us that sat at her table; she loved her Lucky Strike cigarettes; she loved history; she loved the expression "Well Honey!"; she loved Christ, her Savior; she loved to really getting know someone. The list could go on and on, but it made me think, "What do I really love in this life?" Well here are just a few that make me realize how blessed I truly am. I love....

...my dad's cinnamon toast in the morning especially as he hums his cinnamon toast song.
...taking in a baseball game on a beautiful afternoon.
...the Friday night lights of Texas high school football.
...setting down for dinner with my family.
...rolling down the windows and going for drive with the wind in my hair and the radio blasting.
...a good old Baptist hymn.
...my many friends with whom I just laugh.
...a long run.
...my grandparents.
...a movie on a rainy day.
...that an Andes mint will forever remind me of my great-grandparents.
...the excitement of a well deserved vacation.
...people with passion.
...the smell of my parent's house.

Alyssa, Kate & Kristen

I must dedicate this first blog to the three lovely ladies that formerly dwelled on the Upper West Side. These three were my first true New York friends and with them I have made many great memories and shared numerous laughs. But more than that, it was these girls that first introduced me to blogging and encouraged me to start this blog (so basically if you hate this or if I annoy/offend you in any way - blame them).

You will no longer find us huddled together around the television on Monday night gabbing about Gossip Girl. Kate has now moved to Gramercy (I'm guessing on the area's correct name) while Alyssa and Kristen have headed back to the Lone Star state. So in honor of the wonderful times we shared together, here are a few highlights in our various escapades.

1. Egg - The wonderful brunch spot in Brooklyn with this great little potato ball and where Alyssa loved the grinds in her coffee.
2. New Years Eve - Alyssa do you have your shoes back yet?
3. "Have you ever said a cuss word?"
4. SNL with Zac Efron - "More like Zac, what the F is wrong?", "Gillie", or who could forget that random guy relieving himself while we stood there waiting line for tickets from 3:30 to 7:00 in the morning.
5. Who's Bad?
6. M&Ms and Pretzels - wonderful, but dangerous combination
7. The Clooney Clause
8. "Didn't you pass out after you got your eyebrow pierced?"
9. Our game of celebrity at Megan's apartment which included JR and Kenny three times each.
10. Unlimited sushi and sake
11. Gchat - you three get me through long days
12. A child's ticket at the movies

Honestly, I could go on and on but I'm a little nervous about the first post and don't want to over do it. But I will end with a simple thank you - thank you for opening my eyes to the world of pop culture and blogging, thank you for showing me the ends and outs of the city, thanks for being there during my first few months, thanks for the memories. Giggle Giggle :)

No worries, this blog's layout WILL change.