New York Love

Greeting readers! I know - long time, no post. But I'm back at least for tonight and I'm writing about something that I truly love: New York City.

It's addicting. The rhythm of the city that is: the constant on the go, something new, somewhere to be, something to experience. The fact that I have to leave seems unnatural and forced. As I walked down the 50th Street subway stop tonight, taking in the sights, sounds and scents of the city, I couldn't help but think this is where I feel most alive.

Tonight was a great night. One of those nights that you don't plan, but that you will always carry with you. Tracy, Jennifer and I went ventured to Spice Market to dinner where we shared laughs and life over wine, water and white rice. As I reflect back on this year, I realize what a blessing those girls have been in my life. I have learned from them and grown to cherish the time I have with them. They have shown me new perspectives and challenged the way I think, which makes me not only a stronger person, but a better person. I love Tracy because her background is completely different than mine. She supported herself through school and has faced situations that are beyond my imagination. She makes me realize how fortunate I am and I respect her for all the things that she has accomplished. I enjoy Jennifer because she tells me exactly the way it is. She sees me as I am, sheltered and all, and accepts me as is. These two friendships alone have made my year in New York memorable. Together they have seen me through each day, shared the pitfalls of work but also the laughs, plunged through adventures and ultimately developed friendships that I hope will last a life time. I will never be able to look back at my time in New York and not think of them. I can only hope that as our paths diverge into different directions, we will continue to be a part of each other's lives. They are friends that require no prerequisites - just me as I am is what they accept. And for that, I will be forever grateful.

So tonight, as I diagonally crossed 8th Ave dodging a yellow taxi cab back to my apartment, I thought about my move. Do I want to go? Not really. When I was a little girl, I watched a show on some cable channel where the girl froze time by pointing her two index fingers together. I would kill for that special power now and to be able to extend this stage of my life. I feel like myself in New York. Looking back over the past few months, I have had highs and lows, but I have grown as an individual. The thought of Dallas is bleak to me. Granted, there are many positives: my family, Jay, Kellie, many other good friends, a steady job, a great house with much cheaper rent, etc., but nevertheless, my heart seems to be filled with dread. I'm sure after a few months, I will adjust and be fine, but right now New York is all I want. The city is alive, and as I walk (or sprint walk) the streets, I just feel right. So tonight as I finish this blog and head to bed, I will dream of honking cars, bright lights, crowded streets and the sounds of subway trains passing below my feet - New York that is - the city that never sleeps, where dreams come true.